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Oct 19, 2010

Wallpaper, Dragons, and Wizards! Oh my! (Unicorns, too!)

If you're anything like me, you've made or found some really sweet wallpapers for your Android phone. Personally, I like static images with a martial flair, especially samurai pics. That's just how I roll. The problem is that I also have a boatload of shortcuts and widgets on my desktop and I'm constantly adding, removing, or changing them; which means if I want to actually see my ultra-cool wallpaper, or if I want to show someone just how awesome my custom image of a unicorn pooping a rainbow looks (You do NOT want to see the live version of that wallpaper, trust me!), I have to rearrange everything on my desktop! What a hassle! My fingers cramp up just thinking about it! Ouch!

<Cue deep Infomercial Voiceover Voice>

No more crazy icon arrangements or sore fingertips for you, my friend! That's right, now you can show off that picture of the plastered Pomeranian puppy you found on the intertubes! Feel free to proudly display the snapshot of your sleepy Sherpa guide from your tantric Tibetan trek! You can even go ahead and gloat about the GIF of the girl goalie with the Great Britain soccer/football team uniform painted on! All displayed in brilliant, beautiful, bodacious color on your Android phone!

How is this possible? I'm glad you asked!!

merlinAccording to legend, the wizard Merlin grew tired of having to constantly rearrange this desktop every time he downloaded a new wallpaper of Morgana & Excalibur, so he summoned the powers of the Dragon and concocted a macabre app that would solve his problem. Unfortunately for Merlin, the Dragon gave him an alpha version that required him to have root access.  And, since he couldn't sideload the app to let him root it (He was on ye olde AT&T), he was forced to suffer.  The story goes that what actually killed him was cramped and bruised fingers resulting from constantly rearranging widgets.  Seriously.  I’m not making this up.  Keep in mind, though, that this is just a legend. Still, they say that all legends have a grain of truth at their heart. I'm just sayin'...

The truth is probably closer to a kick-ass Android developer named Richard running into the same frustration as Merlin (allegedly) and building an Android app to solve his problem. Regardless of whether it was Merlin with the power of the Dragon or a Richard with the power of the frustrated Android developer, today you can have a completely icon and widget free desktop with the gentlest tap of your finger! Simply go to AppBrain.com and download Cleaner.  By installing Cleaner, you can add it's widget to your desktop (seems counter-productive, doesn't it?) and simply tapping that widget will remove all shortcuts and widgets from the screen, giving you completely a completely un-obscured view of your own pooping unicorn! How do you get my shortcuts and widgets back, you ask?  Simply tap once in the lower right corner of your screen, or tap the back arrow button once and all will be as it was before! It's so simple, a caveman could do it!

But wait, there's more!

Act now and you can pay in three monthly installments of $0.00, for a total of $0.00!! (Plus 0% tax and $0.00 shipping and handling) That's right, you heard me correctly... (Can you hear me?  Really?!?  Cool!) All of the awesome alleged wizard/dragon/human-developer desktop-clearing goodness of Cleaner for the low, LOW, LOW price of $0.00!!! So what are you waiting for? Browse over to AppBrain.com and Act NOW!! Supplies are unlimited, so hurry!  Those unicorns can only hold it for so long!

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5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great!
Thanks for the tip!

Norfolk Commercial Movers said...

I laugh, but it just rubs in the fact that I still don't have a Droid.

John Rentschler said...

Well, I'm glad you got a laugh out of it! I was a hardcore Windows Mobile fan for years, but Android is so flexible, and powerful, that once I saw it there was no looking back. Google even has a product called App Inventor that lets you write your own apps for Android. I just started playing with it and it's great! I have absolutely no developing skills, but it's a piece of cake. I'll be writing up a few articles on it and, if what I make is up to snuff, I'll even put the app(s) I make in the Market. Meanwhile, go out and get yourself an Android phone!

Los Angeles Courier Service said...

I really love the Wizard wallpaper. Thanks for all the apps for Android.

John Rentschler said...

My pleasure! Speaking of wallpaper, and of AppBrain, they also have a wallpaper repository now availabe that lets you browse through images and yes, just like the apps, it lets you push the wallpaper directly to your phone. Still free, too! You can also upload your own wallpaper for others to use. Careful if you have kids, though, as there are quite a few submissions that are NSFW. AppBrain doesn't seem to screen them at all, so in addition to the nudity, I've seen a lot of copyrighted imagery. Having said that, though, it's really cool! (For the record, No, I don't work for or have anything to do with AppBrain except for using them a lot!)

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